Saturday, July 28, 2012

60 Dracos In Leather Pants

Draco In Leather Pants is one of those tropes that I regularly DESPISE. Because I am a huge fan of great fictional villains, I cannot stand it when they are denied of even being villains and whitewashed of every bad deed they do just because they have fans who love them too much. It is rejecting what makes a villain so great and gives them their appeal to begin with. To be clear, Draco In Leather Pants is when fans overlook and excuse all of an evil or amoral antagonistic character's faults because they either empathize with them and agree with what they stand for, or (most often the case with fangirls), they find them sexy and cannot stand to think a character so attractive could possibly be the least bit truly bad. Thus such people pretend that the villain's negative qualities don't exist, while they make up redeeming qualities that the villain simply does not have in Canon. The Trope name comes from Draco Malfoy of the "Harry Potter" series, an aspiring villain heavily lacking in redeeming qualities and not a likable, attractive person in the slightest, who somehow received a large following of fangirls who fawn over him to the point of treating him like a good guy, making up bogus redeeming traits for him (such as the wearing of leather pants, apparently), and wishing him
to take the place of Ron in the Canon HP universe. And this, of course, is NONSENSE!

Again, this is often a Pet Peeve Trope of mine because I hate the whitewashing of these villains (be it Sephiroth, Scar, the Joker, Light Yagami, Organization XIII, Lelouch, Kevin 11, Giovanni, Sensui, Vegeta, Zuko, etc.) and often in favor of blacklisting the heroes that oppose them (which is known as "Ron The Death Eater", fittingly enough.)  However, I mustn't lie....I too have been guilty of applying this trope to some villains myself. Now, I don't want to think of myself as a hypocrite because for most of the examples I'm about to give, I still recognize them as freaking villains and acknowledge how bad they are, what they do wrong, and why they needed to be stopped, even if I genuinely love them for being what they are. BUT there actually ARE a few for whom I play the trope 100% straight and am willing to overlook all they did wrong. I'll always let you know which ones fall into this category, for it's a special occurrence. Also note that I shall try NOT to include most examples that are deliberately sympathetic, morally ambiguous anti-villains or flat out harmless, not-truly-evil villains because you're supposed to side with those, somewhat. So without further delay, as guaranteed, here are...60 of my personal Dracos In Leather Pants!

 Hades (Disney's Hercules): This is one right off the bat whom
I shall not be an apologist for, because there is nothing to apologize for. He's an evil, sleazy, smarmy, manipulative, fast-talking, double dealing, double crossing, hot tempered, power hungry JERK who loves being that way, we love him that way, and he well deserves to be brought down whenever he does something heinous. But despite all that, I DO see where the guy is coming from. As they said in song, he rules the Underworld but thinks the dead are dumb and unclean. And he did not choose this job, his brother Zeus gave it to him. Is it fair that his brother gets to be king of all gods on Olympus while he's stuck with an icky job he hates and makes him unpopular with mortals, and whenever he tries to make that known to his brother, the brother's too oblivious to pick up on it? Why shouldn't he take action and try to take charge of his own life?  His flaw is that he overshoots what he wants to be instead, which is the ruler of the cosmos, because of his naturally villainous personality. He's most definitely a Disney Villain, but he's one who has my sympathies.

 Team Rocket (Pokemon): Team Rocket in this case meaning the trio of Jessie, James, and Meowth. And only the Jessie, James, and Meowth from the original series where their characters had Takeshi Shudo's personal touch on them, not the repugnant brainless imbeciles of the following two series' or the unrepentant straight-up villainous assholes of the current one. Again, I do not justify them 100%, because if I did, I'd be Cori Falls. *shudders* But I'm mostly talking about the trio as they were in the awful and awfully long Johto phase. In there, they had been hit hard with Villain Decay now that they were to be the repetition-inducing villains of a kid's anime with a formulaic pattern set, so their role in most episodes were to spy on the "twerps", come up with a hair-brained evil scheme that usually involves devices or cheesy disguises, try to steal the Pokemon-of-the-day, if successful go to an abandoned location to commence in wacky antics with the stolen Pokemon which gives our heroes the time to track them down, they put up a pitiful, inept fight that they lose and are sent "blasting off again." The episodes often closed with showing us where they landed. Despite this stupid, stupid role they were saddled with, the characters still kept the sense of funny, unpredictable whimsy they always had. It's like they knew that this show SHOULD be a cartoon and were the only entities self-aware enough to act as such. And so they were often tons more likable than our heroes. They always tried the darnedest only to be made to look the pathetic fools and lose each and every time. The fact that they were often subjected to Moral Dissonance on Ash's part when he was either needlessly hard on them (when their crimes didn't even deserve that treatment) or sent them blasting off for no good reason at all just added to my sympathy towards them. Of course, they were never REAL bad guys to begin with, so in my mind, they eventually reformed and made peace with the twerps. And hooked up with each other like at the end of that "Pikachu" manga mini-series. They deserved that sort of end.

 Maxie (Pokemon Advanced): Both Teams Aqua and Team Magma were idiots, mainly because of their "earth biology drop-out student" bosses and the goons who were stupid enough to follow such people. However, when playing the game, I found myself sympathizing a lot more with Maxie than I did with Archie. Whereas Archie was a greedy, ruthless pirate, Maxie was suave, intelligent, sophisticated, and courteous. This carried over even into his one appearance in the anime, in which Ash snarled and yelled at him for doing "bad stuff" even when he was being perfectly reasonable! And to be blunt, Maxie's reasoning for his destructive plans were a lot more sympathetic and understandable than Archie's. At first he just seems as mad as he is, but as you progress into the Hoenn region, you come to realize that....there's lots and lots of water surrounding it. Lots of water that you have to sail in, water where water-type Pokemon thrive. Maxie thinks this isn't fair to the Pokemon of land habitats, and y'know what? It isn't. Sure, drying up Hoenn is a bogus thing to try to do, but I can see where this guy was coming from in wanting to expand the land masses. Fortunately, my empathy for him paid off in "Emerald", where he is the first one to see the error of both teams' ways and tries (too late) to stop Archie from bringing Groudon and Kyogre out and into conflict. In the ensuing crisis, Maxie and I were united in the common goal of stopping these reckless legendaries. The last time I saw Maxie, he was setting everything that he made wrong back right, and he turns to me, speaks my name, is silent, and then walks away with Archie. No words needed to be spoken. I had helped save him from himself, and he was grateful. For that, I shall always be fond of the guy. (Yeah, fuck you, Kusaka for killing him off in your manga!)

 Cipher Admins (Pokemon XD) I feel kind of dirty for giving this treatment to anyone in Cipher, the most despicable evil organization in all of Pokemon. But in
the first game, only half of the administration was truly evil. Mirror B. was a cloudcuckoolander, Lady Venus was just a whiny snob, and Dakim was a cheap bully. It was the ones highest in power, Evice, Nascour, and Dr. Ein who were pure evil to the core. Then came the new administartion in the awful sequel game and...I honestly don't think any of them are as evil. Yeah, Cipher is still totally bad, but the people themselves? Let's think about this: Eldes flat-out changes from evil to good in the game (quite easily, I might add) and he manages to get his father, the guy behind the whole Complete Monster syndicate, to realize that this was wrong and turn himself in for a life sentence in prison.
There was love in that family, and if that was enough to reform the boss, than it shows he wasn't all bad. The apish brute Gorrigon was just a total mook who never did much bad, and even becomes your jolly good friend after the game is done.  Mad scientist Lovrina and corrupt politician Snattle?  Yeah, they're scum...but they're delightful, entertaining scum who, while never truly repentant for their sins, show they have some semblance of conscience since they too become your friends post-game and give you invites to Lovrina's fanclub and Snattle's campaign. And even Ardos, who sends you an (empty) death threat, has some hope for him because he's also Greevil's son and Eldes' brother, so I can see him one day having a redemption scenario that would most likely equal his death. So while Cipher remains completely monstrous, I don't think these guys truly are.

[073.jpg] Annie and Oakley (Pokemon Heroes): The central antagonists of the fifth Pokemon movie, two teenage girls who work as master thieves and wanted criminals who threaten the Venice Expy town of Altamare, as well as the two pokemon Latios and Latias. Since first seeing these villains, I have never taken them all that seriously. I don't know why, but it's probably because they don't strike me as real out-and-out Big Bad villain material. They seem more like ascended flunkies than main villains, which is why I liked the dub invention of them working for Giovanni. (They are NOT, however, part of Team Rocket.) Then upon re-watching the movie one time, I realized...that I freaking loved these girls! They're just so smart, so sly, so stylish, so agile, so tough, and oh so lovably devious. And hot: really hot, too. They're having so much fun committing evil together that I can't help but have fun with them and even root for them to pull off their big heist because damn, wouldn't that be cool? Plus, they're interesting to speculate about. Just what is their relationship anyway? Are they sisters? Are they BFFs? Or are they even...lovers? There's so much possibilities with these two, so it's a shame we only saw them once.

 Sharpay and Ryans Evans (High School Musical): This is the first example where I play the Trope 100% straight. Odd because I acknowledge that these two devious siblings are generally stuck-up, self-centered, malicious, unpleasant people...and yet, in the setting they are in, I cannot fault them for anything at all. For one, they're teenagers and it's High School. Realistically, there are going to be jerky kids who make serious errors because they're not quite mature enough yet to realize how wrong they are. Yet in the sanitized Disney Channel High School, they're made out to be eeeevildoers who need to be put down and taught a lesson in the end. Secondly, the "good" characters we're meant to side with really aren't any better. Troy and Gabriella are bland, angsty, pretentious, squeaky clean Mary Sue protagonists who try in vain to make us give a damn about their love life drama, and their friends Chad and Taylor are far more dickish and manipulative than Sharpay and Ryan could ever be! And third, these two are clearly the ones who are having the most fun. Their snarkiness, hamminess, and sheer energy they have in performing their parts is something to love and admire about them. These things kept me rooting for them, even in "High School Musical 2", which had a failed attempt to make us hate them more. And apparently, dozens of others felt this way too, which resulted in a Sharpy spinoff. Fabulous, indeed!

 Raditz (Dragonball Z): My brother listed him as a "Bad Writing Woobie", which is part of the reason I give him a slight DILP treatment. In the anime, Raditz was shown not to be as totally evil as Nappa and Vegeta. He had a genuine yearning for his brother Goku to join him and be a "true Saiyan" again, didn't kill a single human save for that farmer with the shotgun, and not only did he have a warped sense of pride, but a warped sense of honor too. He was perfectly willing to keep his nephew Gohan alive and in his custody until his brother met his demands, courteously let Goku and Piccolo stop their fight with him to breath and formulate their battle strategy when he could've kept attacking right there and then, and he even admired and respected his nephew when he was the first one to truly damage him, to the point of wanting to give him "an honorable death worthy of a Saiyan." Twisted, but not totally barbaric. In general, the anime just gave him more character than Toriyama ever did.  Does this make him not evil? Hell no! (What he did to Goku after getting him to let go of his tail was NOT COOL!)  But there was clearly something redeemable in this forgotten fallen brother of the main hero, which is why I can ultimately forgive him.

 The Ginyu Force (Dragonball Z): This is a weird case where I have no doubt or denial that their actions are totally wrong, but I still give an 100% DILP pass for all five of the Ginyu Force members as characters. Why? Because none of them were portrayed as really evil in either manga or anime. They're fun, silly, style-obsessed, affable Punch Clock Villains who are simply doing their jobs as an elite mercenary force for the evil lord Freeza. Captain Ginyu even says so: "To us, killing is no big deal. Just part of the job." It's pretty much the whole point of them. Guldo is just a wimpy, jealous jerk who wants to be recognized for his abilities. Reecome is oafish but amiable and likable, even when he's beating the crap out of a child, he still compliments him and is enjoying himself. Burter is a laid-back guy who seems to just fight and kill for the sport of it. Jeice is similar, and I can't help but feel sorry for him due to how much abuse he seems to take at times. And even Ginyu, the most villainous of them, is the one who said that line, and he cares about his men enough to be outraged when he finds out they're dead. They're bad guys for sure, but true villains? I don't think so.

 The Androids (Dragonball Z): The last "Dragonball Z" example would be these three: Andorids 16, 17, and 18 from the Cell saga. The ones in the present timeline, not the 17 and 18 of Trunk's future, who are genuinely petty, cold blooded psychopaths. Our 17 and 18 actually aren't that bad at all. That's made note of in canon and is kind of a point, but I can't help but go easier on them and their amoral, illegal actions than I probably should because of this. 17 is a young criminal punk who is a total hedonist, a firm believer of "screw the world, we should do whatever we want whenever we want as long as we have FUN!". And yet he's not an evil killer, nor does he or his sister harbor any of the resentment towards humanity that their counterparts did. 18 is a cynical tough girl with a soft spot for good fashion and who wants to have FUN too, but is not always in agreement with her brother's aggressiveness. She also doesn't really hate people, even showing flirtatious affinity for the likes of Krillin, whom she later marries. 16, who is pure robot, is a large, hulking, stoic, unattractive young man whose intimidating appearance hides that he's a nature lover, animal lover, and all-around nice and peaceful being. He's the most good of the androids...and he's the one who wants Goku dead in the first place due to his programming! No matter the dickish things these androids did, I could never be mad at them. They were just too much FUN!

 Mimi (Super Paper Mario): Perky, light-hearted, but creepy female minion to Count Bleck. She turned out to be not so bad in the end, so it's quite easy to forgive her. However, I give her a DILP for one thing she said when she was still a villain that I totally see her point in. To Princess Peach, she says: "I like getting what I want, so I do whatever I need to get it. You're the one that's always having to get rescued by boys. THAT'S embarrassing! Golly, you sure are a lot of talk when you have your little boyfriends to protect you!" And as much as I like Peach...I can totally see why Mimi would say and think that. Peach has played the "dumbass in distress" role in virtually all Mario games, always needing the Mario bros. to save her ass. While we're meant to see Mimi as a presumptuous bitch for saying this to Peach, which sets Peach up to prove her wrong...why shouldn't she think that? Peach has done everything to lead her on! So I was on Mimi's side here: you tell her, Mims!

 The Legendary Warrirors (Digimon Frontier): I've mentioned these diabolical digmon before. They're the series' "silver lining." Mercurymon > Takuya, Grumblemon > JP, Arbormon > Tommy, Ranamon > Zoe, and Duskmon > Koji. Hell, Duskmon > HIMSELF as Kouichi! I may not support them 100% because I don't deny that they are evil and corrupted, but I come pretty damn close. I will definitely Root For The Empire here, though, for they are the true legendary warriors.

 The Rival Hunters (Digimon Xros Wars: Young Hunters): These are also silver linings of their respective Digimon series. As in, a "tune out everything else in the show and watch only these guys, and you won't be missing anything" kind of silver lining. As such, I give them my 100% DILP support. When Ryouma, Airu, and Ren are going up against Taiki the has-been, Yuu the dorkadoofus, and Taigru the shitty fucking crap-shit of a bland generic Idiot Hero Mary Sue protagonist, who would you rather root for? RA, RA, RIVALS!

 Terra (Teen Titans): WAIT! Terra is a morally ambiguous Anti Villain! She shouldn't be here, right? Yeah, well...the thing is that while I do acknowledge that period of time where she was a psychotic, sinister, underhanded little bitch of a totalarist supervillain apprentice...I could never, ever, EVER hate her. Her character is just THAT awesome and lovable! Or, to paraphrase, it's why I never hated Terra, only her decisions and actions. She was naive, but smart as well. She worked for power control and got it. Raven used her full power against her but was literally buried alive. No matter how many haters she has, Terra kicked ass and took names as a VILLAIN! Mwahaha! So basically, Terra rocks, whether she be good or bad.

 Misa Amane and Teru Mikami (Death Note): Yes, I know that these two characters are deeply disturbed, batshit insane, and commit horrible criminal acts in the name of their beloved god Kira. But I just could never root completely against them, I felt too sorry for them. They aren't evil so much as they are amoral and mentally ill. In Misa's case, taking away her reason for snapping and devoting her life to murder would make her a perfectly nice, sweet, mostly positive person with a chance at a successful career and fulfilling life. In Mikami's case, he just needs serious counselling and therapy to get him to realize that his narrow-minded morality isn't the only way, and that not all bullies should be "deleted" for their crimes. While their characters end in tragic suicides in the manga and anime versions, Misa made it out alive and redeemed (through mind wipe) in the live action movie. Mikami couldn't get an alternate fate since he wasn't in the movies, which sucks. While I frown upon their murderous actions, I still can't help but imagine an alternate ending scenario where they both realize they could live without that scumbag Light and instead devote themselves to something better...together.

 The Morbucks (Powerpuff Girls Z): Another pair I go 100% all the way in DILP'ing. I cannot for the life of me see them as true villains. They're a snobby, selfish, egocentric, rather dysfunctional but still loving family who just like doing what they're accustomed to doing: outshining all the rest and getting what they want through lots of MONEY! Himeko/Princess is really just a precocious spoiled brat who's in need of friends and attention. She only becomes a supervillain through the black mists' superpowered curse. Which is why I love that she and the heroines DO become friends over the course of the show. And her older sister Miko/Duchess might actually be the more scheming and devious of the two, she also seems like a pretty cool girl overall and clearly likes spending time with her little sister, who both envies and admires her greatly. And so I just can't hate them: I give them all the love and praise that they'd probably want from me!

 Wile E Coyote (Looney Tunes): A classic example. SEVERAL people have sympathized with this cartoon coyote. In fact, it was a RULE of the Roadrunner cartoons that the audience's symphathies must always be with the coyote, because even though he's kind of the bad guy, he's technically the protagonist of these shorts too. He's always hungry, all he wants is to catch and eat a roadrunner, but try though he might with all the wacky schemes and zany ACME inventions, he's never able to catch the damn roadrunner! Can't the poor guy ever win? Just once? He falls short of 100% support from me because, well, there's a reason he never talks in the Roadrunner shorts. When he shows up elsewhere, he speaks and acts like an unlikable, devious, stuck-up Smug Snake, who professes himself a "genius" despite his constant ineptitude. Knowing what he's really like makes me lose some sympathy.  But only a little...

 ACROSS (Excel Saga): It might sound crazy, just like them and their show, but I give ACROSS my 100% DILP support. Because, well...let's face it. Lord Ilpalazzo is absolutely right. The world IS corrupt and most of it's population ARE ignorant masses. He's an idealistic visionary who wants to dominate the world for what he believes is it's own good, though he is admittedly also a spoiled, self-centered and pompous prick. But he's not a total bad guy at all, and neither are his agents. Excel is a zany, clumsy, and utterly insane moron but she bears no ill-will towards anyone: she's just devoted to her beloved Lord Ilpalazzo and his self righteous cause. Hyatt is sweet and innocent, only doing evil because of her own form of undying loyalty to both her Lord Ilpalazzo and her senior, Excel. And Menchi...Menchi's not a villain. It's kept around as an emergency food supply! How can you not sympathize? Now, this doesn't mean I'm totally against the equally bumbling F City Task Force. Dr. Kabapu made the argument that the world is not corrupt, merely confused, and I can agree with that point as well. Basically, I don't think there's any real evil in this conflict except for That Man, who was using Across to fulfill his dark ambitions. But if I had to choose whom to give my support to, you know what I'd say - HAIL ILPALAZZO!

[Jinnai+rides+bugs.cgi] Jinnai and the Bugrom (El Hazard): I can totally see that Jinnai is the bad guy and that the Bugrom are an evil invading force. Boy, can I ever! But I still find myself wishing Jinnai one day COULD get the pleasure of one-upping Makoto at something and achieving a victory on a grand scale. The guy has taken so much abuse in his life that I want to see him win, even if he doesn't deserve it. Plus, he's hilarious, so I can never stay mad at him or sincerely hate him. And something just rubbed me the wrong way about the majority of the Bugrom race getting forcibly exiled out of El Hazard at the end of the OVA. I mean, they had to be neutralized somehow, but that just felt so...racist. Perhaps that's why the same fate doesn't befall them in "The Wanderers" canon.  But still, it just bugged me. (Get it? BUGGED? *Jinnai laughter*)

 Haruhi Suzumiya (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya): Unlike the misaimed "Haruhism" worshiping fandumb and the stupid, whining, inane haters of this character, I can recognize full well what negative qualities she has and what terrible things she does and LOVE her all the more for it! In the first story to bear her name, she was the antagonist and a great one at that. Her crazy, selfish, immature, mean-spirited, devious Jerkass nature was not to be smiled upon, and yet I enjoyed her anyway because she was so eccentric and funny, not to mention interesting. But for many, it was a turn-off because she has a vagina, and god forbid one of THEM ever be a deeply flawed, insane, domineering jackass. While I didn't root for her, I still supported her even then because she was loads of fun and awesomeness. The fact that she changed her ways and showed herself to be a decent human being eventually only justifies the love I already had for the character. She's far more developed and endearing than fan favorites like the pompous, one-note Yuki Nagato could ever be.

  Ryoko Asakura (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya): Another villain from the same series, one who is truly evil and yet not. To clarify, the agenda she serves is sinister, but she herself is not an evil entity. She's cold, callous, psychotic, knife-happy,
and even a bit sadistic, but it's only because she can't grasp human emotions and earthly concepts,
and this is the only thing that really fulfills her and makes her happy. Her outward persona is polite, sweet, generous, upbeat, and cheerful all the time. She is genuinely friendly with humans, even the humans she wants to kill! There's no trace of malice or hate in her actions or demeanor. She has
a "special" relationship with Yuki which shows that she has something redeemable about her deep down in there, and she'll even fight for the good guys' side when it's convenient for her agenda. Her comrade Emiri Kimidori is actually more evil than she, but even she doesn't strike me as a true villain. So I'm willing to give Asakura pass and will gladly support her when I must.

 Ami Kawashima (Toradora): Not really a villain: in fact, she's
a main protagonist who was just something of an antagonistic, devious, manipulative jerk in the first season before she eased down through the second. Even when she was made out to be the bad guy, I still looked at her with a 100% DILP view. Why? Because she is a BRO! Seriously, it was clear from the start that she wasn't at all a bad person, just a very flawed and complex one. And even then, I loved it whenever she trolled Ryuji, gave Taiga the mental knocks upside down the head that she often needed, and engaged in frenemiship interactions with Minori. Some hated this girl and viewed her as a bitch, only to learn to love her as the series went on. I was never even at that first point. Ami is a true bro, through and through.

 Alan and Ann (Sailor Moon): Here we have another pair who are technically meant to be sympathetic Anti Villains, but I see them as two of my 100% DILPs. For even when we were supposed to root against them and hope to see the newly awakened Sailor Moon and her pawns thwart their plans, I just couldn't. Even when they resorted to stealing energy from children and babies, I couldn't do it! Not only because they were only trying to survive, but because they themselves were so endearing, entertaining, and likable, and fascinating in just how screwed up they were. All their evil can be excused because they grew up on negative energy, only knowing dark emotions and never truly getting the concept of true love. And their "evil plan" was genius: impersonate high school students and transfer into an environment where wacky teenage hijinx can ensue and their hormones can get the better of them! Flawless! Their inept villainy just made me love them that much more, and I was pulling for them to get a happy ending, which I am so glad for.

 The Amazon Trio/Quartet (Sailor Moon): The other bunch of Sailor Moon villains I had a hard time rooting against. I talked about them in the silver lining entry too, they're just so goddamn fun and entertaining. The Trio were amoral, vain, diabolical mind rapists, but they were only acting upon their animal instincts that they weren't aware of, and in fact often disliked their job working for Zirconia. But since they had no hopes and dreams of their own, they had nothing else. The Quartet were even more villainous, being conniving, cruel, self-centered, immature, rebellious, and naughty (and cute.) But they hated working for Zirconia, were often disobedient towards him, and wanted to just do whatever the hell they wanted. They presented themselves very honestly (including their shameless lack of clothes) and just did not give a fuck about who or what they messed with, and what anyone else thought. And I love that: I absolutely love that! These villains also got happy ending, and really, nothing else could be more deserved.

 The Arrancars (Bleach): With some obvious exceptions (Nnoitra, Szayel, Yammy), I 100% supported all the Arrancars over the "good guys", who were mostly the Soul Society and Gotei 13. They were seen as the bad guys, but at this point I just couldn't root for the Soul Reapers and their allies. As for the Arrancars...Coyote Stark was a noble Anti Villain, Baraggan was a badass, Harribel was a pitiful non-Larxene, Ulqiorra was a tragic monster, Grimmjow was awesome, and Zommari Aaroniero was a dick, but a pretty cool and freaky one. Most of the rest (Luppi, Dordoni, Cirucci, Gantenbainne, etc) are flat and/or forgettable, but Loly and Menoly are fine: they remind me of Annie and Oakley, and while their actions towards Orihime were extreme and despicable, I have to agree with their attitudes towards her, and they're even worthy of pity due to just how much their always getting trashed because Kubo has no imagination for doing anything else with the poor girls. Wonderweiss was pretty interesting, and I freaking love Lilynette Gingerback, pictured above. She's too cute, hyper, and ineffectual to possibly hate. I may detest Aizen, but most of his underlings deserved better.

 Rosemary Applefield (Ashita No Nadja): Yes she's
a terrible, wicked, manipulative, pitiless, hateful little bitch...but I can't help but love her, and even support her to a certain extent! For as evil as she is, I can still sympathize with her and understand where she's coming from. She was a troubled, but wide-eyed innocent girl who just wanted to be
a noble princess, with Nadja as her knight. To her, Nadja stole her dream from her when SHE was revealed to be nobility instead of her. That is unfair: she worked harder, and yet Nadja is just given everything Rosemary longed for due to being born noble? So in Rosemary's insecure, warped, sociopathic, demented mind, she's the rightful princess and heroine of her own story. And that's not getting into what an awesome, creepy, impressive evil genius she is at just age 13! That demands respect, and I give it to her. It almost makes me want to root for her so I can see her hard work and cunning plans pay off!  And yes, I LOVED her pulling a Karma Houdini in the end. It's rare that
I do that for any villain, but she pulled it off with such sly style and grace that it was admirable and awesome! Oh, and I could never ever stay mad at someone this cuuuute.....

 Dominic and Anemone (Eureka 7): Ultimately, these two were Anti Villains, but I was 100% with them even when they were engaging in insidious acts of villainy. Because for one, it's ultimately Dewey and his cohorts who are behind everything the likes
of Dominic, Anemone, and Juergans do. And two, Dominic and Anemone were much more fun and engaging as characters than our irritating leads, Renton and Eureka. These characters were a big reason why the beginning and end seasons of the show were the most watchable. If only we'd gotten episodes and screen time dedicated to them.

 The Trinity Siblings (Gundam 00): I'm really not sure whether or not I'm 100% with these ones. They're sociopathic, psychotic, amoral, cruel, self absorbed, and just terrible people all around. But again, I have to consider the context and setting. They're villains in a pretentious Gundam anime where the main protagonists in Celestial Being are terrorists who destroy shit and ruin lives a lot, most of them stoic and super serious, with the main character being utterly selfish righteous about it. ("I am Gundam?" No, you're terrorist scum: deal with it!) So not only do Johann, Nena, and Michael here actually have fun with piloting their gundams and wrecking shit with them, but they make no excuses. They admit that they're terrorists: they embrace it! In a way, that makes me admire them much more that I could the designated heroes, and that they're pretty fun to watch in all their psycho glory makes me love them. Yes, Michael cutting people up with his knife and Nena blowing up a wedding full of innocent people do appall me, but they're really the lesser of many evils in that show, which is why all is forgiven in the end. This trinity deserved a heck of a lot better than they got from the series' bad writing and direction.

 HOLY (S-Cryed): Kazuma and his fellow Native Alters were uber-powered thugs out to upset order in the world out of a misplaced sense of righteousness. The HOLY society was the only working solution to stop such crazy jerks from using their alters to commit terrorism. Martin Jigmarl was a Magnificent Bastard leader. Straight Cougar was a totally radical badass. Scheris Adjani was an adorable trooper. Asuka Tachibana had balls. Emergy Maxfell brought a hero to every pinch situation. Even Ryuhou had a sense of honor and nobility that Kazuma lacked. To me, there was no question. These guys get a DILP treatment from me, for they are HOLY!

 The Saint Shields (Beyblade V-Force): Yeah, they're rough. They're mean. They do illegal things in order to get what they want. But considering that the "heroes" are mostly dull and annoying, and the other antagonists are evil criminals, then who else should we be rooting for? These kids had my 100% full support in whatever they did over the show's course.

 Koko (Zatch Bell): Yes, I acknowledge that she was a cruel, cold-hearted, mean spirited sadist when she was Zofis' bookkeeper. Yes, I also acknowledge she was under a heart control spell that shaped the darkness in her heart into a split personality, so she knew not what she did when serving Zofis. So why do I put her here as a DILP? Because even when she was bad, she was just so damn pleasant and cheerful and adorable! She has the voice of Lara Jill Miller: how can I hate that???

 The Volturi (The Twilight Saga): Again, really bad guys but
I still excuse them 100% of any flaws due to the context and setting that they're in. They're evil for the crime of being like REAL vampires! I also like the idea of their Italian based group controlling all other vampire families in secret, it's quite fascinating and worth exploring, which Stephanie Meyer never does. And clearly, Aro and the rest are some of the only characters who just flat out do not give a shit about anything else happening in the Twilightverse that does not concern their undead lives in their fruity little club. I gotta appreciate that. May they continue to live and prey on the living! *Arro laugh*

 Senna Wales (Everworld): Calm, charismatic, snarky but sweet when she needs to be, pleasant but ruthless when she wants to be, secretive yet informative, intelligent, manipulative, pretty, powerful, enigmatic, passionate, lustful, morally ambiguous, and even a little bit angsty?  And a hall of a lot more interesting and compelling than most of our heroes? I'll bite! She's got my 100% DILP support. I'm fully rooting for her to take over Everworld to make it less crapsack and more fun, and hopefully give it more depth to be explored. Alas, she mysteriously vanished from Everworld in Book 11, leaving it to rot in it's misery during it's non-conclusive ending when the series was cancelled. Here's hoping she'll return to set things right one day. (Huh? What about that Neo Nazi Valkyrie girl who got offed at Book 11's end? That wasn't Senna, that was merely a crazy duplicate of her! DUH!)

 Saint Dane (Pendragon): Sometimes, a bastard is just made TOO magnificent that you want to root for them to succeed 100% of the way. That would definitely describe Saint Dane here.

 Faith Lehanne and Mayor Wilkins (Buffy The Vampire Slayer): I get these villains' faults. Faith was a messed up, irresponsible, selfish, amoral bitch who turned to the dark side and committed evil out of her angsty, self-pitying, self loathing psychological problems. But she got better, she's lots of fun, and she's really, really hot, so I still love her. And the Mayor was a pure evil snake demon who wanted to ascend so he could swallow the lives of every man, woman, and child in Sunnydale, bringing a new dark age to the town...but that was only his nature, not who he was. In personality, he was quite a wholesome, friendly, charming, good man who keeps up an affable attitude, refuses to swear, likes having a good time, loves kids, genuinely looks out for the people of his town that he's planning on eating, and has a touching father-like affection towards Faith. That this was his biggest side of humanity and IT'S what's used against him to defeat him and get him blown him the fuck up always struck me as kind of needlessly cruel, but he DID need to be stopped once he'd ascended. Still, I hold onto hope that he could one day be reborn not as a demon, but as the man he was and should be.

 Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy (Batman): I just like these criminal bitches, especially when they're paired together. Mainly I speak of the animated versions (from both the DCAU and "The Batman") because they're easily the ones with the best characterizations and chemistry together. Harley is the nicest, sweetest, most good natured member of Batman's rogues gallery, but she's still totally loony and madly devoted to the Joker. Ivy is a fierce, conniving, spirited, seductive, sexy temptress who fights for the environment in the most illegal and terrorist ways she can because she's...not right in the head. There are differences in characterizations of them (in "The Batman", Ivy's actually the more sympathetic one while Harley's the jerky one!), but when they're partnered up together as a diabolical duo, they're lots of fun. Again, it's a bad girl duo that's like sisters, friends, and lovers all at once. I, of course, do not excuse their actions, but I do go lighter on them then I do most other Batman villains who commit crime.

 The Luthors (Smallville): I do NOT like to empathize with Lex Luthor in most other versions of Superman in most other media. But the Lex of "Smallville", played by Michael Rossenbaum, is the exception. I do empathize with him, and even when he's turned bad and is out doing morally unscrupulous things, I can't really hate the guy because he's so damn interesting and charismatic. Of course there's also his brilliant, underhanded, and hammy father Lionel Luthor, who was THE Magnificent Bastard in the show's good seasons, particularly the first three. And the last three seasons at least gave us Tess Mercer, Lex's snarky, ruthless girl assistant who's actually his half sister. The members of this "evil" family could do no wrong for me.

 Magneto (X-Men): I'd give the man less DILP treatment than I do if the bad writing of most "X-Men" canons didn't make it so hard for me. In most cases, the humans that Magneto seeks to destroy are portrayed as generic, one-dimensional, unlikable straw bigots who irrationally hate and persecute mutants. Why should Magneto want to make peace with such people? Sure he's a self-centered, bitter, extremist terrorist, but he's a justified one! Now if I had my way, I'd try to balance Magneto's modern characterization of being the self-righteous but justified victim of 75% of the human race's cruelty towards him, with his old one of believing in the cause of forcing homo sapiens to accept mutation as the next form of evolution, so that mutants like him may rule the world! Make him a clear supervillain, but still a three dimensional, compelling one rather than an obvious one. But his core ideals stay the same, no matter what. To Magneto, his way is the right one. In his own mind, he is the hero. And in some ways, he's my hero too.

 Hector Barbossa (Pirates Of The Carribean): I think I'll just quote Greg for this one: "the brightest spot in all three of these movies was Geoffrey Rush as Captain Barbossa. He may have been the most cliched pirate of the series, but I'll be damned if Rush didn't sell it. Every single frame of this film, Rush chewed the scenery, and had a good time. I'd wager an even better time than his co-stars. Whether he was acting against the protagonists or allied with them, Barbossa was always true to himself and himself only. I rooted for him in all three... and let's face it, is Jack Sparrow a leader of men? No. Barbossa is... and Barbossa earned that ship."

 The Pranksters (The Electric Company): I 100% excuse them of everything because they're really the only reason worth watching The Electric Company 2009 revival. A bunch of bad kids who want to "take over the neighborhood?" It's so lame it's hilarious, and the young actors really sell their characters. Okay, maybe Francine can be grating and genuinely unpleasant and I don't care much for her lackey either, but the other three (Danny Rebus, Annie Scrambler, and Manny Spamboni) did no wrong. If only Spider-Man was in this Electric Company, and we could see how he handles their trouble-making ways.

 Billy, Roxie, and Velma (Chicago): Yeah, all three of them are bad people, not to be admired as human beings. But Roxie only murdered a douche who deserved it, so her real crimes were going along with the "murderess" reputation so she could get fame, glory, and recognition, and also treating the perfect husband like crap. Velma committed a terrible murder of her own sister and her fiance, but now seems repentant for that and so again, her crime is trying to capitalize on murder afterwards. And Billy Flynn is just a Magnificent Bastard of a lawyer whose sleazy, repugnant methods are usually right! He fully embraces the courtroom as a three-ringed circus, and the justice system as show business where he can give the ol' razzle dazzle, and tap dance around something when he has to. And all three of them were pretty damn funny, so no, I didn't feel upset that they get away with everything at all.

 Hedra Carlson (Single White Female): She's such a sweet, outgoing, beautiful yet semi-androgynous hottie played by Jennifer Jason Leigh. Already I'm attracted to her. But she's also a lying, murdering, identity-stealing psychotic wreck of a person. But the story goes out of it's way to show us that she's not evil, just deeply troubled, self-loathing and sad. Her twin sister died while she lives on, she blames herself and has never let go, and now wants to become her new roomie, while her new roomie becomes her twin! And while that is pretty sick, she only comes to that course of action through events and misunderstandings that start when her roomie's bastard boyfriend comes crawling back. Hedy doesn't want to kill dogs and people, and when she does, she always washes herself off in the shower and prays for forgiveness. If someone had just shown her true love and friendship before things started to spiral out of hand, she could've gotten better and all the deaths could've been avoided. But I show her love. Poor, poor Hedy.

 Metruiel and Valmont (Cruel Intentions): I say "Cruel Intentions" because, cool as they are, I still see the Metruiel and Valmont of "Dangerous Liasons"
as totally evil. These two teenage ones, played by Sarah Michelle Gellar and Ryan Phillipe, are my favorite versions anyway. I still see them as evil, terrible, sick people... but they are sexy, seductive badasses who perform their manipulations and conquests in a way that is so fun, so smooth, and so cool, because they're clearly having fun with it. For Sebastian Valmont, it's all in a day's work. And Kathryn Metruiel is devious and she knows it, which is why she enjoys every moment of pure bitchy villainy. (Suck it, Nostalgia Chick!) Yeah, they're a bit TOO smart and sophisticated for kids their age, but that just makes them cooler! And due to this film's rather forced sense of morality, they are shown very clearly to be redeemable. So I like to imagine a life where Sebastian, Kathryn, and Anette formed a threesome and, going on to fuck with more lives, lived happily ever after.

 Mai and Ty Lee (Avatar: The Last Airbender): Azula's in the back in this pic, but I don't DILP her at all. I believe she may ultimately be redeemable, but that's not the same. Her friends/minions Mai and Ty Lee, on the other hand, I never could hate or be mad at.
Mai is willing to not give up King Bumi in exchange for her baby brother, and Ty Lee uses her chi-blocking to take out an entire Earthbender unit, but I still don't hold their actions against them. When working for someone like Azula, who is not going to tolerate disloyalty or blunders, I can see why these girls do their best to stay on the Fire Princess' good side. Plus, Mai's a poor rich girl from a bad family life who always more apathetic than she was evil, and Ty Lee's a perky, energetic, screwed up idiot who didn't even want to leave the life that made her happy, but was made to comply with Azula out of fear of her beloved's wrath.  So I can excuse them of their wrongdoings, easily.

 Daemon (Reboot): Daemon is sort of like the Mayor from "Buffy." Her evil comes from her nature and programming as a virus, not from who she is. She is kind of snooty and self-important, but she genuinely believes in her righteousness. She thinks that spreading the world is for the good of the net, and will unite it in harmony. She is also polite, cute, sweet, benevolent, and even a bit naive. If we were to reprogram Daemon, I bet she'd be a perfectly good virus and we'd have no worries of mass genocide anymore.

 Sissi, Herve, and Nicholas (Code Lyoko): These three kind
of were the Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle of this series. Except, y'know, they had redeeming qualities. Especially Sissi, who was played as a straight up mean, haughty, spoiled rotten bully of a girl in her first appearances but was soon shown to have a sympathetic side who was just lonely and wanted to be friends with Ulrich and the rest. We finally see her and the gang grow closer in the second season, and learn that she WAS initially their friend in the "pilot" story before a misunderstanding caused that jerk Ulrich to insist on shunning her away from him and the others. And even before that, she helped out and showed her softer side during many XANA attacks, and even when she was mean, she was written with a sympathetic, likable quality to her that everyone ignored. In fact, sometimes the main protagonists were more of jerks to these three than they were to them! What The Hell, Heroes? So for most of the series, I was 100% on Sissi's side. I'm glad she got her happy ending, but did she have to leave Herb and Nicholas out of it? Really?

 Vlad Masters (Danny Phantom): Another one where I cannot give him the full DILP treatment because he's such a bitter, greedy, lustful, self-centered, manipulative jerk. But in spite of this, he still manages to be sympathetic. Maybe not always in writing, but Martin Mull's voice acting brings out some depth in him every time. I can see his point of view and why
he'd want to be rid of Jack Fenton and take his family as his own. He always loved Maddie and was harshly critical of his not-too-bright friend Jack, and then Jack's idiocy causes him to get infected with ectoplasma that turns him into a Vampire-ghost. And yet it's Jack who got rewarded with marrying the woman Vlad loved and conceiving children with her! But being smart, Vlad made great use of his new ghost abilities to become rich and powerful, and now he wants to forcibly take back what should have been his. He may love himself and merely lust after Maddie, but in his own sick way, he really does loved Danny and wants him to be his son! So I couldn't help but root for the guy in his evil quest, and even when he brings a tragic end upon himself, I still feel bad for him. Here's hoping a long period of self-exile and solitude in space can redeem him before he can finally find happiness. (What, you say he was smashed by that meteor? YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!)

 Dr Drakken and Shego (Kim Possible): The bumbling mad doctor supervillain and his competent but overconfident sidekick. While I don't DILP him the whole way, I feel even more sorry for Drakken than I do Vlad. His own peers and "posse" mocked and rejected him, and never ever said they were sorry! No wonder the poor guy wants to prove himself so bad. And Shego might be selfish and amoral who left to commit evil for the heck of it, but when we see her inept, overbearing do-gooder family of superheroes, we think better of her and understand why she ditched them! One of the reasons I'm actually happy "Graduation" being the finale we got rather than the overrated "So The Drama" movie (End it with Drakken my ass!) is that we got to see Drakken and Shego get a happy ending together. 'Cause seeing as by that point they were much more endearing than Kim and Ron, they earned it!

 Gantu and 625 (Lilo and Stitch: the series): They were supposed to be "the bad guys" but I DILP them 100% because they simply are not bad! Doctor Hamsterviel is the pure bad guy here. Gantu just works for him because he wants his job and his dignity back, and tragically he only loses more of it as he keeps serving Hamsterviel! And 625 is an apathetic jerk, but not any more or less evil than the other "evil experiments."  He's usually more concerned with making great sandwhiches than committing any actual villainy! The two shared a great roommate-like dynamic together, which endeared me to them and made me want to see them succeed. Quite frankly, I found Lilo's "as long as you act like a bad guy, we'll treat you like a bad guy!" policy towards Gantu to be BS. The guy just needed to be shown support, friendship, and Ohana. Why deny him that, you preachy little hypocrite? Like Drakken and Shego, I was glad to see them get a happy ending in the series finale. They were the best characters: they earned it, dammit!

 Whitney Stane/Madame Masque (Iron Man: Armored Adventures): Another exception to the "no Anti Villain" rule. Whitney is one of the only likable, interesting characters in this series and also one of the coolest badasses, so I support her 100%
in any justified action she takes. As a high school hottie, I root for her to show up that spastic brat Pepper and score with Tony over her, since she's much better girlfriend material. As a masked vigilante supervillain, I root for her because she's primarily against her evil father, and she kicks so much ass when against everyone else. And when she's been driven to madness and vengeance and now wants to avenge her fallen father by utterly destroying Tony?  Go Whitney! DESTROY TONY!!!

  Gene Khon/The Mandarin (Iron Man: Armored Adventures): The other Anti-Villain from that "Iron Man" cartoon. As of the second season, Gene fell prey to much bad writing because they wanted us to hate him. Well, it aint working!  This smart, smooth, snarky bad boy is more the hero in the show than that dumbass teenage Tony Stark!

 Morbius (Spider-Man): He was tragically cursed to be a living vampire through his own hubris, tried to force Felicia to be his bride, and he hungered for PLASMA! But I never faulted him. In fact, I never really took him all that seriously. Morbius was a sorrowful, sympathetic villain whom I felt for and wanted to see get better. And they fucking ruined that as the show progressed and Morbius' character got derailed, but in his first five appearances, he was actually a great character and a favorite of mine. Shame he was so mistreated: he deserved better.

 Sandman and Rhino (The Spectacular Spider-Man): Yes they're petty criminals and supervillains, but I feel right justified in giving them a slight DILP treatment because they have standards and a sense of honor. All Sandman ever wanted was his big score: he never wanted to hurt innocent people, and only used his harmful sand powers in self defense when the cops or Spidey were attacking him. He was a Noble Demon of a crook. Rhino, meanwhile, is a thug: very destructive and thoughtless of who gets in his way. Unlike his partner, he's greedy and selfish to the core and is not at all opposed to murder in order to get what he wants. Yet he's got a good deal more sense than he lets on. He doesn't want anyone else ending up like him when that Rhino chip was planned to be sold by a bunch of gangsters, so there are lines he won't cross. And the two of them are really funny, particularly when they're together as your typical "somewhat smarter and totally stupid" idiot duo. Which is why they're my favorite versions of the characters.

 Pinky and the Brain (Animaniacs): Why them? It's kind of similar to ACROSS. I hate to say it, but maybe the world would be a better place if Brain took over, especially the world their show takes place in where people are such IDIOTS!

 Mumm-Ra (Thundercats): The one from the 2011 revival of the cartoon. Greg's noted this one before, but I'll concur with him: even though he can be kind of an idiot villain despite his genuinely intimidating and creepy presence, and is thoroughly evil and vile to the core, he still manages to usually have the moral high ground over the Cats, whose king that he killed was a tyrannical, self-important, intolerant bigot. At least Mumm-Ra is willing to let other races of animal like lizards and amphibians share the wealth. I'm rooting for him the whole time.

 Heather (Total Drama Island): She may be a major bitch, but she's a smart, scheming, pretty, strong willed, sarcastic, determined, game-savvy, and charming bitch whom I have to seriously root for whenever she impresses me. This was present in the first series in which she played the villain, but even more present when she was the Anti-Hero of "World Tour". She shows many times she's not devoid of redeeming qualities, and she even seemed to be a genuine friend to a rare few of the other competitors. I frankly think she didn't deserve near as much crap as she got in both series' (especially from Leshawna), and she deserved to win "World Tour", which is why I see the ending in which she truly won that aired in the US by popular vote as the real ending. If I were running the show, I'd give Heather all the wealth and glory she could want!

 The Cyclonians (Storm Hawks): Let's put it this way: the Storm Hawks were the Rebel Alliance, while the Cyclonians were the Empire. The Empire has all the bigger guns, the better toys, the more stylish outfits, and the more badasses. With characters like Master Cyclonis and Dark Ace running the show, the Cyclonian empire was superior to those raffish rebel sky knights in almost every way!

 Charmcaster (Ben 10): Charm was a juvenile delinquent bitch who just wanted to show off her powers, exploit ideal situations and basically fuck with the entire world for no good reason...but can we really blame her? She somehow split form her parents in her home dimension and was instead raised by her evil uncle Hex, who emotionally abused her in his quest to make her his evil lackey. It went horribly right, and once Charm finally got her chance to stop submitting and finally say "NO, Uncle!", she was free to lash out at the world and be eeeevil on her own! She's so cool, her crimes and rivalry with Gwen isn't too severe, and she's coming from such an understandable place that I cheer her on rather than want to see her get taken down. Yeah, I suppose I could give Hope "Charmcaster" from the sequel series the DILP treatment too because she was made a major Jerkass Woobie there, but she got so messed up through bad writing that I have a hard time doing that. She just...lost me, and made me crawl back to the fucking first REAL Charmcaster, because she's way less melodramatic and much more fun!

 Albedo and Sunny (Ben 10: Ultimate Alien Force): Ben and Gwen's evil twins are 100% DILPs in my book. Because they're both pitiful, sympathetic Bad Writing Woobies who got so crapped on despite the fact that they're way, way, WAY better than their good counterparts. The pompous, greedy, kind of psychotic and hammy Albedo just wants to have an Omnitrix of his own since he's Azmuth's apprentice who helped create it in the first place yet was denied of it's power. I can't hold his actions against him with reasonable motivation like that! He's reasonably diabolical but so funny at the same time, and he had the makings of a great villain in "Alien Force", only to be made to look like a total clumsy fool and a nuisance who got tormented all the time in "Ultimate Alien." It was a really bad joke. Sunny, meanwhile, is a cracktastic character made up from a bunch of "Teen Titans" villainess characteristics: identical to our red-haired heroine but with black hair (Blackfire), dating an ugly monster of a boyfirend (Kitten), and being voiced by Ashley Johnson using her Terra voice! And she was also an Anodyte, too. Her entire creation was bad writing, AND YET she was more enjoyable than most other characters, particularly her cousin Gwen. She's identical to Gwen yet somehow hotter (probably because she wears better clothes and keeps her hair down long), she has fun with her mana powers and smiles a lot (as opposed to serious, no-nonsense, perpetually angry Gwen), her enthusiastic, spunky, rebellious attitude is likable, Ashley Johnson's voice work for her isn't dull like it is with Gwen, and that she is put down and unfavored in favor of Gwen by her bitchy grandmother right in front of her makes her ultimately sympathetic and deserving of a hug. I hope these two bad kids get together and get happiness and prosperity at their good twins' expense someday...

 Breach (Generator Rex): Truth be told, I felt a slight DILP feeling for most Evos in this series because White Knight and Providence often struck me as bigoted and extreme in hunting them down. Is it any wonder Van Kleiss is able to lure so many of them into his pack? Breach was easily the only one I could barely even see as villainous. She's creepy, disturbed, and unhinged to be sure, but is also kinda cute (voiced by Hynden Walch and all) and not really evil. The first time we really explore her (literally!) was fascinating and I found Doc Holiday having the private things in her head messed with to be a bitch move, and it nearly cost the poor girl her life! Thankfully she recovered and eventually changed her ways. I knew there was good in her!

 Jack Spicer (Xiaolin Showdown): And last there's Jack Spicer, evil boy genius who serves Wuya. He's one of those villains who is such a permanent underdog that I'm always wanting to see him succeed on some level. And he did for a while in the first season, but was then turned more and more pathetic as the show progressed, constantly being made to look the monkey Jack, and it got to the point where the writers seemingly forgot about the "genius" part of his character because he was such an idiot! There's only so much Buttmonkey torment a guy can go through before I stop seeing them as the villain and start to look past all his wrongdoings. Jack was a character who needed better treatment, period!


  1. @Team Rocket: While not on the level of original series Jessie, James, and Meowth, I have to plead guilty to holding some DILP feelings toward alot of Team Rocket members: Mondo, Domino, Tyson, Wendy, the Executive Trio from the manga, and even Giovanni himself to some extent. A grunt from the GS games summed Team Rocket up well with "We're not always evil. We just do whatever we like."

    @Cipher: As horrific as Cipher was, I too believe it's members deserve a second chance after it's downfall. I mean, who's to say Snattle won't make a good legit politician? ....Yeah, I doubt it, but still.

    @Sharpay & Ryan: Those two were great in HSM and HSM3, and actually made those films worth watching. HSM2 not so much, but they got some good songs out of it ("Fabulous" is pretty much Sharpay's theme song.)

    @Raditz: DILP feelings are NOT helped by the Raditz alternate storyline included in "Dragonball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 2". *Sniff!*

    @Terra: Good or bad, I adored Terra in all six of her appearances simply due to how well written she was in all of them. The two Terra Markovs she was based on had longer runs in the comics and were never very good characters, Terra I being a two-dimensional plot device and Terra II just being a fucking mess. The DC reboot has produced a new Terra, but I don't care. The TV show's Terra and the comic's Terra III (Atlee) are where it's at!

    @Misa and Mikami: While I pitied her, I don't feel much sorrow at Misa's suicide in the manga and anime. But I'm glad the Misa of the movies got to be redeemed and survive, because that version of her wasn't just pitable, but actually SYMPATHETIC. As for Mikami, I prefer his off-screen manga suicide to....what he did on-screen in the anime. I mean, GEEZ....

    @Jinnai: I too prefer Jinnai and the Bugrom from "The Wanderers" continuity than from the OVA continuity, even though Jinnai was at his villainous best in the original OVA. They're more ''humane'', and able to be fought and defeated without resorting to such drastic measures.

    @Haruhi: Sadly, I must agree that there is a disutrbing sexist undercurrent to the criticism and bashing of Haruhi for her behavior. After all, there are many hilariously sociopathic male protagonists out there who aren't reviled as much for their crap.

    @Ami Kawashima: BROFIST!

    @The Arrancars: Alot of these characters were interesting and/or enjoyable, and how crappily they got treated is more proof that the Soul Society needed to STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE STORY ARC! The loads and loads of characters in "Bleach" would not be a problem if Kubo just knew how to freaking BALANCE THEM.

    @Rosemary Applefield: The show was a nice little commodity beforehand, but it only really picked up and became noteworthy when Rosemary entered the picture. For that, she has my love and gratitude.

    @The Trinity Siblings: Sigh. "Gundam 00" really was an awful show, and the treatment these three were given is just another showing of that. As detailed in my Bad Writing Woobies post, Nena in particular got screwed over. The writer just didn't care about her.

    @The Saint Shields: I honestly barely remember a goddamn thing about this show EXCEPT for these guys. That alone justifies DILP feelings for them.

    1. Mondo and Wendy were never really that evil, and with cases like Giovanni, Domino, the Neo agents, or the Elite Trio, the "Evil Is Cool" factor is in play much more that the "Draco In Leather Pants" factor for me.

      Yeah, and who's to say Lovrina can't find another more harmless hobby that she can take over and hog all the glory for?

      Even in HSM2 their performances were entertaining. They just weren't enough to make the whole thing worth watching.

      That Raditz story REALLY got to me. And it shows that Raditz could have been just as interesting as Piccolo or Vegeta if taken down a better direction.

      The DC Reboot has produced many things that I don't care about. The Terras I know and love best will always be the two lovable cute ones you mentioned.

      The ending of the "Death Note" anime was bullcrap, period.

      Diva, Jinnai, Ifurita, and all the Bugrom are better in "The Wanderers", though Jinnai is just great no matter what version he's in.

      Exactly. If Haruhi were gender-flipped into a bishonen who does things like molest another prettyboy, I doubt there'd be nearly as much eyebrows raised. Male Jerkasses are apparently charming and fun, but a female one is just an intolerable, unwatchable bitch. I fucking HATE such Double Standards!

      *BROFIST right back at ya!*

      Agreed. So many characters should have been dropped from the series as we moved onto the next arc. But Kubo has no idea how to use loads and loads of characters right. Though considering his writing skills, I doubt he'd treat most characters much better even if there WASN'T a bunch of others competing for screen time.

      Yes indeed. Rosemary MADE the show. How can I possibly revile such a Magnificent Bitch?

      Nena got it worst because she didn't die with her two brothers only to die with two other villains in the next series, making her survival totally pointless. In fact, their deaths were totally pointless. Fucking Ali, why'd you have to do it? Couldn't you have made them work for you?

      I remember them and the Big Bad whose son was actually an android duplicate of his deceased son, but that's about it.

    2. - Yeah, "Evil is Cool" I guess fits better than DILP.

      - She likely could and would. And I'd stay part of her fan club! I don't care if she's nuts, she's adorable! ^_^

      - Exactly. Just watch the "Fabulous" music video instead.

      - He probably shouldn't ever have gone in that direction in the actual series though. I would have preferred him just stick around as an afterlife antagonist.

      - The DC Reboot is, for the most part, pointless. If DC thinks that reorganizing all it's titles but not improving on their quality is going to make a difference, they should think again.

      - AGREED.

      - Not arguing that Jinnai is great in anything, nor that "The Wanderers" is my favorite version. Just pointing out that the original OVA was the only time he was truly, completely menacing.

      - I hate it too. It needs to die.

      - Kubo wouldn't treat his characters any better, true, but at least there'd be less of them around to be abused.

      - You can't. It's not possible.

      - At least Nena gets her due in other media. That's something, at least.

      - Oh, and there was that faux Big Bad who had purple hair and the voice of Professor Coldheart from Care Bears, and his mad scientist assistant. Really, the bad guys were the only thing that stood out in that show. It was Yugioh 5Ds before Yugioh 5Ds.

    3. - 'Cause they ARE cool. Esepcially Giovanni and Domino!

      - Same here! She was nice enough to make me join, so I'd stay.

      - Or "I Don't Dance." Or even "Bet On It"! Yeah, it has nothing to do with Sharpay and Ryan, but it's hilarious!

      - Like he did in the "Attack Of The Saiyans" DS game. He should've been there to plague Goku when he died in the Saiyan Saga, and then do the same with Goku's dead allies in the Freeza saga. He might even have ended up posthumously developing as a character in the end.

      - I'd be all for a reboot if it was, what's the word...GOOD?

      - The manga and movie endings are so much better!

      - Yeah, he hit a Meta-level Villain Decay. Though at least he's not Jack Spicer!

      - Yes. It's one of those few things that Greg and I would agree upon. That's how bad it is.

      - Precisely.

      - It is for alot of people, but that's only because she does her job as a freaking villain so well.

      - NENA! Particularly Nena!

      - Yeah, them and that Hilary chick with her weird bushy hairdo.

  2. @Senna Wales: Considering that the last three "Everworld" books were ghostwritten (a frequent practice of K.A Applegate since she's too much of a fucking hack to do the job by herself), I have no doubt in my mind that Senna never truly died. And that some day, she shall return....

    @Hedra Carlson: Hedy (and the whole damn story) has a MUCH better ending in the original book; she survives, is apprehended and able to get help, and it's even implied she'll find love with a kindred deceitful spirit on the force.

    @Metruiel and Valmont: Again, the original ending (in this case, the original screenplay) was so much better. Sebastian would still be dead, that's the downside, but in a twisted way he's still with Kathryn and Anette in spirit, and is what drives them together.

    @Sissi: To be fair to Sissi, she didn't exactly leave Herb and Nicholas out, she just told them she doesn't want to see them antagonizing her new friends anymore. And to be fair to Ulrich and co., their jerkish designated hero morality was greatly reduced after the first season, and they were quite good toward Sissi by the fourth (I actually quite liked Ulrich in the video game adaptation; he rejected Sissi's advances but still sincerely wanted to hook her up with a boyfriend that would make her happy.)

    @Vlad Masters: This guy got honorable mention on my Bad Writing Woobies post. A hack like Butch Hartman was undeserving of him.

    @Whitney Stane: She's recently been brought up in my Superhero Sexism post. The writers don't want to acknowledge her alot even when she's so blatantly the best character on the show. In my headcanon, she leaves all the crap behind and crosses over into the MCU, where she becomes the adopted little sister to Pepper Potts (y'know, Gwyneth Paltrow's Pepper Potts. The GOOD one. The COOL one. The REAL one!)

    @Morbius: He was cool and interesting at first, it's such a damn shame that most people remember him for being horribly and pointlessly overxposed by John Semper.

    @Heather: She won it all. There was no more "Total Drama ANYTHING" after that. Ever.

    @Charmcaster: Emotionally abused her? Dude, the implications that Hex physically abused her were also there! Agreed on all else, Charmy was just alot of fun. I really pity Hope too, though not so much because of what happens to her in the show so much as like a failed mutation experiment that oughtn't even exist to begin with and should just be put down.

    @Sunny: The Sunny episode was just another reason why I cannot STAND the "Ultimate Alien" half of "Ultimate Alien Force". Gwen, the super sour and personality-deprived abomination to the original Gwen from the real "Ben 10" is supposed to be the GOOD one here? And that hypocritical BITCH Verdona verbally favors her over Sunny, even though Sunny was just being as hedonistic as Verdona herself was in her youth? Aaaaaaaaugh!

    @Jack Spicer: "MONKEY JACK! OOO OOO AAA AAA AAA!" And that's when I turn the TV off in disgust.

    1. Clearly, after the events of Book 10, Senna got bored. I don't blame her.

      She might have survived in the movie: it was really unclear. But I do miss the guy she ended up with, as well as the actual IDENTITY THEFT that got built up but dropped from the film! The movie's third act did have a nice moment where Ally and Hedy screwed with that asshole rapist, and the final fight at the end was cool, but otherwise the story really fell apart.

      Considering Kathryn and Anette were the loves of Sebastian's life, it's kind of fitting. In his redemption, he ended up "conquering" them both. And Anette got BOTH prizes, the car and Kathryn. And Kathryn was Anette's pet FOREVER!

      Yeah, that whole subplot between Sissi, Ulrich, Yumi, and Clone William in the game was hilarious, and you got the sense that they were all friends regardless of what happened to their love lives, which was nice.

      Butch Hartman's not deserving of ANY of his GOOD characters!

      The writers pushed her aside in the second season, which I don't get: she's the most interesting character and yet they don't want to use her. Though now I'm picturing a scenario where Whitney and Real Pepper riff on that show and sharing in their disgust for it's versions of Pepper and Tony. XD

      Most people remember him for that, AND for him being screwed out of being a real vampire by the FOX network censors. Poor Morbius.

      True that. There was also only two seasons of "Total Drama." And Duncan NEVER came back onto the second show just to cheat on Courtney with Gwen. Isn't Fanon Discontinuity FUN?

      Physical abuse with MAGIC, you mean? He did blast at her that one time. As for Hope being "put down", well they kind of just killed two birds with one stone with her and Mike's parts in that godawful episode.

      Exactly! The only thing I got out of that damn episode was major pity for Sunny, whom I'm sure has been Woobified for many others for the same reasons. Same goes for Albedo in his two "Ultmate Alien" appearances. They both REALLY deserved better.

      The moment Jack becomes a monkey in any given episode, I'm like "GODDAMN! That is the ultimate threat to this series!" XD

    2. - Ghostwriting tends to be boring, true.

      - I couldn't get into the final fight at all since it was proceeded by Ally's gay friend inexplicably surviving something that we clearly saw KILL HIM. That third act was so dumb!

      - Poor Kathryn. XD

      - And any more screentime for Clone William is welcome. He's a fun counterbalance to the scary, evil, badass real William.

      - True. Oh so true.

      - To say nothing of how the real Tony would react....

      - Morbius shouldn't be was all Blade's fault! Even with the censorship, everything was going fine until Blade showed up!

      - Yes, it IS fun.

      - Yeah, I meant with magic. Aside from that one time, he blasted two prison guards behind her, but she instinctively thought it was meant for her and braced herself for it, poor Charmy....And Hope's put-down wasn't satisfying, I'd have rather seen her actually DIE (same goes for Mike.) But Dwayne McDuffie and the hacks working with him had a chance and blew it completely.

    3. - Especially for a character who's too good for that crap.

      - That just threw everything off completely, but the fight was still a decent resolution. The only one the movie could have at that point, anyway.

      - Naaah, in time she no doubt learned to love it. XD

      - Any William was a good William in that final season timeframe.

      - It is true. Ditto for Seth McFarlane.

      - The real Tony would have to bring LOTS of drinks to the riffing. XD

      - Yet one of many reasons why I never like Blade. Buffy he is not!

      - You'd think she would've seeing as she made a deal with DAGON, but nope, apparently that didn't mean anything.